Embracing the Journey

We are entering the last two weeks of my journey with my seniors.  This is the most joyous, trying, exciting, frustrating, exhausting, exhilarating time of the year.  Each year, I force my seniors to do some large, ridiculous-use the last of my power to torture them- project.  I have a real reason for this beyond torture.  High school, no matter how much you want to forget about it, is, for all who endure it, painful.  It does not matter where you live or who you are.  This is because growing up is painful.  It hurts.  But, I know a secret-it is also wonderful.  It is silly and joyful and triumphant and defining. 

The memories that we keep will be the ones we chose to keep.  Some people chose the painful ones, and I totally get that.  Some people will look back and be filled with hate and animosity, and that is a fair way to recollect the time spent at school.  But, if you chose to-you can chose-even if it’s the tiniest of memories of all, to remember something wonderful.  So, being the evil taskmaster I am, I try to help my students have one last chance to reflect.  And, because I am a glutton for punishment, I always do my projects with them, and that is why I get to remember something wonderful from each group I have been honored to work with.

This year, something unexpectedly fortunate and torturous happened as I was thinking about my students’ final project.  I have always loved StoryCorp on NPR, and I have used it frequently in class.  Luckily (depending on your viewpoint) the man who developed Story Corp, David Isay, won the TED Prize, and he developed an app so that all people, all over the world, can record StoryCorp interviews from their phone.  I was inspired.  This year, all of my seniors, all 75 of my people, will be choosing someone who has impacted their lives during their school years, and sitting down, one-on-one, face-to-face, and talking with them about real stuff.  They aren’t talking about school stuff, they are talking about life stuff: “What is your happiest memory?” “How do you want to be remembered?” or “If this was to be our last conversation, what would you want to say to me?”  I know, evil genius teacher right here J

In order to begin this process, I decided to think about someone who has significantly impacted my educational career.  Who do I want to talk to?  Who do I need to listen to?  So many people came to mind-I made a list and I thought about it.  I finally decided I would interview my dad-Gary Edwards.  This choice was really easy because I have never really sat down and had an authentic conversation where I was the listener when I talked to my dad.  I feel like I have so many qualities that people attribute to so many things, but I know a lot of them have to do with the way this man raised me and the example he was in my life. For example, people sometimes say I am creative-my dad is one of the most creative people I know.  He never accepts something won’t work-even when I wish he would.  I am a lot like that.  In my family, growing up, there were three loud, opinionated women in the house, and then there was dad.  I knew I needed to talk to him.  I called him on the phone, and we scheduled our interview.  I was absolutely terrified! 

We met at the Community College library, and we went into a study room.  I closed the door, opened the application on my phone, and we began to talk.  Some of the questions I asked him included, “Who was someone who was very influential in your life, and what did they teach you? What is one of your happiest memories? What is something you are most proud of? How do you want to be remembered? If this was to be our last conversation, what would you want to tell me? What is your favorite memory of me?” I’m not going to share everything, but I will tell you that talking with my dad was one of the most valuable hours I have spent in a long, long time.  My favorite question I asked him was not one I had planned, but I asked him if my life had turned out like he expected it to.  I was so surprised by his answer.  I realized that he knows me so much better than I thought he did.  Sometimes the people who you take for granted are the people who know you best of all.

The most valuable quotation, however, from my dad was when I asked him how he wanted to be remembered.  He thought about it for quite a while, and then, in his slow, thoughtful drawl, he said, “I tried…I may not have always done the right thing, but I’ve always tried.”  In those simple words I found so much solace and confirmation.  I know he will be remembered in so many ways, but maybe my grandchildren, who may never have the chance to speak with him, will hear this interview and recognize they come from the very best in humanity with those simple words.

I have begun listening to student interviews.  I have yet to hear one that has not contained something that has moved me.  Many students and their interviewees have cried (I cried while talking to my dad, and honestly, he teared up at one point.)  The interviews are overwhelmingly NOT SAD, but, they are, in a world filled with artifice, some of the most authentic experiences I have ever had the pleasure to hear.  The students are to decide the best question they asked, and put one quotation on their final art work from their interview.  They also have to sit, and listen, and collect the words from the interview to create a poem about Experience.  I’m not doing this to judge their poetry skills, I’m doing it so they have a chance to sit and listen, really listen, one more time to this discussion. I designed this project not only to assess the student’s language skills (this project requires critical reading, writing, listening and speaking) but I designed it because I believe that high school should also be a testament to who we have become through the trials and triumphs, and these interviews are a testament to the amazing humanity that is represented in my classroom.  As I begin the final downward spiral into completing another year, I hope I can remember to listen, laugh, agonize, and celebrate the amazing humanity I have witnessed this year.