Present: Being Here

Welcome 2016!  For the past two years, I have selected a word to focus on.  I saw a guy talking about it on the Today show, and I was hooked on the idea.  The first year, 2014, was the year my son graduated from high school.  I picked the word "cherish" and I did my best to focus on enjoying the process.  Last year, I picked the word "embrace" because I knew it would be a year of a lot of change. This year, my word found me.  In the last month of the year, I had several things happen that drew this word to me.

First of all, I have lost touch with many of my writing friends.  Every time they planned something, I couldn't make it.  I was too busy or it seemed too far away.  Then, one of the most important people I associated with the Writing Project passed away.  He was always planning ways to keep us together as a group.  I felt horrible I hadn't been to any gatherings.  However, at the busiest time of the year, I found a way to make to a writing session.  I don't know why I felt so compelled to go in the last week of school, on the night of my school's Christmas party.  But, I went.  And it was wonderful.  We sat and wrote and talked, and it was a gift.  There was a woman there who I admire very much.  She taught me when I was in the Writing Project, even though she didn't remember because she has helped so many teachers and shared her gift with so many people.  As we talked, she shared, even though I don't think she wanted to, that her mother had passed away recently.  She talked about being intentional.  She talked about being a person who doesn't just say things, but a person who takes action.  It really affected my thinking.  Then, she asked me for my blog address.  I wrote it down, and thought how kind it was for her to ask.  But, something remarkable happened.  She read it-she read it-and she left me comments and I felt validated and important.  She went to the beginning and read my entire blog, and then I went back and read the posts and it was one of the greatest gifts I received-her commitment to actually do what she said she was going to do.  I will never forget this.

Then, I gave a final to my seniors.  We had been studying the Holocaust, and our final reading was from The Book Thief.  It was the short story within the novel called, "The Word Shaker."  It is a deceptively simple story about words, and their power.  Inevitably, even if you have all the best words in the world, and you don't share them, you can't make a difference.  For our final, we became "word shakers" and gifted each other words or phrases that had been gifts in our lives.  As the days of the final approached, I felt apprehensive and worried that the students would take it as a joke or be stories.  It was my favorite day of the year.

As I was driving home, I got a text from my mom.  My dad fell over Thanksgiving break and in complete shock, my mom shared that he was not well.  To add to the news, there is not really anything doctors can do.  This is not a surprise, he has not been well for a while, but this seems like another thing.  They told him he can't drive any more. All of this seems really scary and sad.  I am always so wrapped up in my own head, I want to be there for my dad and my mom.  I want to recognize that nothing is permanent.  I want them to know I love them dearly and I want to make memories.

As I reflected on these things, I thought about my word for the year.  I thought about words like intentional and action and purposeful.  I mean, these things were all of those.  I know that I don't want to sit back and think magic and luck will make things happen.  I want to participate, I want to be active.  As I thought about it, I realized all my favorite memories are the ones where I am PRESENT.  Authentically, entirely, present in the moments in my life that truly matter.  And I knew, I knew my word and my commitment to myself and my friends and my family is to be present.

present [prez-uh nt]
adjective
1. Being, existing, or occurring at this time or now; current:
2. At this time; at hand; immediate:
3. Grammar. Noting an action or state occurring at the moment of speaking or writing. Noting or pertaining to a tense or other verb formation with such meaning.
4. Being with one or others or in the specified or understood place
5. Being here
6. Existing or occurring in a place, thing, combination, or the like:
7. Being actually here or under consideration

All the definitions talk about being, immediate, existing-and that is my goal for 2016.  I hope to be present in my life and for the people that I love.  I hope to write more and participate and help shape the memories I can't wait to make.  I wish you all the best friends!  Happy New Year!