"To choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances is to choose one's own way."
Yesterday was Saturday. I love Saturday. I love running around with my family doing what we want to do. This past Saturday, I was teaching. You see, in our school district we have had a lot of snow days. I think we are up to 12 missed days so far. In order to make up that time, we are having Saturday school (our first one was yesterday and we have another in April.) Students were not super thrilled. When I arrived at school, the first thing I did was make a play list on my computer from Spotify of songs that had Saturday or weekend in the title, and started blasting the music. I had my lesson plan ready to rock and roll (it was a good one) and I got the doughnuts ready! Students started trickling in, and despite the lethargy in their steps, they started to smile. For the especially down ones, I walked up and started singing to them until they smiled. They ate doughnuts and I started explaining the lesson. We got to work, laughing and singing and learning. It was AWESOME!
As you can probably tell, if you have read my blog at all, I love teaching. It is truly one of the greatest gifts my husband ever gave me. He and I sat down when he finished school and we talked about what I really wanted in my life. First, I just want to say that I do recognize how rare a conversation like that probably is. My partner in life agonized with me about my dreams. Seriously, this happened--and I am so exceptionally grateful for his sacrifice and determination to not only listen to my ideas, but to never dismiss them or overlook them. He has always been as invested in my dreams as I am. In fact, despite the fact that in deciding to be a teacher, we willing acknowledged that I would never make as much money as the job I left behind, or have some of the other things that would have come with staying at my old company, he has frequently said that our decision to invest in my education was one of our best moves.
I had a great job at an amazing company and I probably could have stayed there and been pretty successful. But, it wasn't my dream. My dream (as lame as it is) is to teach high school kids. I love the idea of working with teenagers-giving them the chance to find their own voices and use their own power--challenging them to think in in new ways and discovering and learning each day. You see, in my old job, success meant title and money and prestige and power. Awesome if you are into that kind of thing. Success for me is a little bit different. It is about Facebook messages on my birthday, hugs at the door, students texting me to thank me for pushing them (I have a rep for being a little bit demanding in my classroom),walking out to the parking lot and hearing a student yell, "Mrs. Moore, come and give me some love!" and the feeling of running to the car of a student I haven't seen in a year to receive a big old hug and catch up for a few minutes; finding out they are rocking it out in college, saying that my class really helped them get ready for that. Yep, I have been blessed with incredible success in my five years in the classroom. I am honored.
I don't want you to think this is all easy, or that all I do is give hugs and "life" lessons. Nope. And here's what this blog is really about this week. In all my years of teaching, I have always taught under the pressure of a mandated exam. In Arkansas, in grade 11, all students must take the 11th grade End of Course Literacy exam. This will happen for my students and I this Tuesday and Wednesday. No matter how prepared I know my students are, I always feel concerned and worried for them. It is an eight hour test given over two days. It is evaluated by someone in a room who does not know my people and does not understand anything about their learning or their ability. The idea behind the test--that all Arkansas graduates have a standard of literacy--is so noble it is hard to argue with. But in reality, I know that some of my students will struggle and some will not be successful; despite all the success we might have had this year. During this week, I struggle to keep up my energy and enthusiasm. I know that when it is all over, I will sit in my car and I will cry out of frustration for my students who tried so very hard on this exam and probably weren't successful. I cry because I don't want them judged in that way.
My family has to live with me during this week. I am short tempered with them. My car tags used to expire in March and I went to the DMV and told them they needed to give me a different month because March is our state exam and I really can't function on any kind of life stuff during this time. But, come Tuesday morning, I will be standing at my door, dressed in some kind of crazy outfit (probably with glitter on it--I love glitter) cheering for my students. I will make sure they have all had some sort of breakfast (it is a four hour marathon of a test each day) and I will let them know, making sure they know--without any doubt in their minds--that I believe in them. Not because it will make the test scores higher, but because I really truly do.
So, here's what I know--attitude is everything. While we live under the idea that you always have a choice, the reality is some times you don't. And that sometime stinks, and it isn't what we want to hear, but that's okay. Because it is not about not having a choice, it is about what you do in that situation. I can choose to cheer and dance and wear glitter. I can choose to believe in my people and sing and smile. So, I will choose that, and I will stand by my dear teacher friends, and we will act like crazy teacher people, we will worry and we will weep, and I will keep on living my dream.
As you can probably tell, if you have read my blog at all, I love teaching. It is truly one of the greatest gifts my husband ever gave me. He and I sat down when he finished school and we talked about what I really wanted in my life. First, I just want to say that I do recognize how rare a conversation like that probably is. My partner in life agonized with me about my dreams. Seriously, this happened--and I am so exceptionally grateful for his sacrifice and determination to not only listen to my ideas, but to never dismiss them or overlook them. He has always been as invested in my dreams as I am. In fact, despite the fact that in deciding to be a teacher, we willing acknowledged that I would never make as much money as the job I left behind, or have some of the other things that would have come with staying at my old company, he has frequently said that our decision to invest in my education was one of our best moves.
I had a great job at an amazing company and I probably could have stayed there and been pretty successful. But, it wasn't my dream. My dream (as lame as it is) is to teach high school kids. I love the idea of working with teenagers-giving them the chance to find their own voices and use their own power--challenging them to think in in new ways and discovering and learning each day. You see, in my old job, success meant title and money and prestige and power. Awesome if you are into that kind of thing. Success for me is a little bit different. It is about Facebook messages on my birthday, hugs at the door, students texting me to thank me for pushing them (I have a rep for being a little bit demanding in my classroom),walking out to the parking lot and hearing a student yell, "Mrs. Moore, come and give me some love!" and the feeling of running to the car of a student I haven't seen in a year to receive a big old hug and catch up for a few minutes; finding out they are rocking it out in college, saying that my class really helped them get ready for that. Yep, I have been blessed with incredible success in my five years in the classroom. I am honored.
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| My 4th hour and I doing an Oscar worthy selfie! |
I don't want you to think this is all easy, or that all I do is give hugs and "life" lessons. Nope. And here's what this blog is really about this week. In all my years of teaching, I have always taught under the pressure of a mandated exam. In Arkansas, in grade 11, all students must take the 11th grade End of Course Literacy exam. This will happen for my students and I this Tuesday and Wednesday. No matter how prepared I know my students are, I always feel concerned and worried for them. It is an eight hour test given over two days. It is evaluated by someone in a room who does not know my people and does not understand anything about their learning or their ability. The idea behind the test--that all Arkansas graduates have a standard of literacy--is so noble it is hard to argue with. But in reality, I know that some of my students will struggle and some will not be successful; despite all the success we might have had this year. During this week, I struggle to keep up my energy and enthusiasm. I know that when it is all over, I will sit in my car and I will cry out of frustration for my students who tried so very hard on this exam and probably weren't successful. I cry because I don't want them judged in that way.
My family has to live with me during this week. I am short tempered with them. My car tags used to expire in March and I went to the DMV and told them they needed to give me a different month because March is our state exam and I really can't function on any kind of life stuff during this time. But, come Tuesday morning, I will be standing at my door, dressed in some kind of crazy outfit (probably with glitter on it--I love glitter) cheering for my students. I will make sure they have all had some sort of breakfast (it is a four hour marathon of a test each day) and I will let them know, making sure they know--without any doubt in their minds--that I believe in them. Not because it will make the test scores higher, but because I really truly do.
So, here's what I know--attitude is everything. While we live under the idea that you always have a choice, the reality is some times you don't. And that sometime stinks, and it isn't what we want to hear, but that's okay. Because it is not about not having a choice, it is about what you do in that situation. I can choose to cheer and dance and wear glitter. I can choose to believe in my people and sing and smile. So, I will choose that, and I will stand by my dear teacher friends, and we will act like crazy teacher people, we will worry and we will weep, and I will keep on living my dream.
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