The Art of here and now...
I am excited to write a post about my classroom and my amazing students, and it's coming, I SWEAR! I was starting to draft it today while sitting with my sister and my dad at chemotherapy (3 out of 6--half way--even I can do that math) and my husband walked in. He walked in because he wanted to be there. He had a bottle in his hand of mouthwash for oncology patients that he had seen while walking around a pharmacy waiting for his flu shot that he had picked up for my dad because my dad was on his mind. I got up and gave him my chair, proceeded to sit in his lap, and we sat there with my dad for the last hour or so of his treatment.
He just wanted to be there. I didn't ask him to be there, I didn't even say, "Hey, it would be nice if you would come sit with me and my dad." NOPE--nada--nothing. He just came. Because he is always here for me. He can't see the clutter in the house or the mud he tracks in when he comes in from doing whatever it is he does when he goes tromping off in a field somewhere. He can't remember which holidays require cards. He truly acts like an 18 year old when he sees a funny inappropriate video on his phone (he and my son have some sort of secret code for "this video is hilarious but mom won't like it so let's go act like we have something important to do so we can watch it and not get caught" thing that I totally know about). He often forgets what events are when and where and then likes to pretend like nobody told him about them. But he always shows up. He knows about HERE and NOW. Even when I can't see it, he knows that it matters if he shows up. He can't do anything. He can't fight the cancer in my dad or make the demons in my head go away, but he can be there. And he always is.
I realize I cherish the here and now. My sister is one of the most amazing people. She teaches first grade (I pray for her daily) and she is one of the most here people I know. If you need something, she is there. She can't fix anything, but she fixes everything when she shows up. Sitting there while my dad naps, making faces at me, sending me funny texts and writing out her report cards. She's there. Always. And not just for me. Nope, true here people are truly HERE, in the present. A couple of years ago, when I found out about something that we super hard for both of us, I was scared to tell her. But I told her and you know what she did? She took a breath and said, "Where do you need me? When do we leave?" She lived through it with me. We did it together. She was completely and totally there, with me, through something that neither one of us wanted to have to face. We did it together. She is amazing because she is here.
Each morning while I am teaching, my best friend puts her face in the window of my door. Whatever I am teaching, I tell my students to wait for one second. They all smile as I run to the door to give her a hug. I look forward to that moment every single day. In 2014, I will be here, and I will understand that hugging my friend, in that moment, is the most important thing. It might not fix anything, it might not prevent whatever things might occur during the day, but I can live in that moment, being there with another human being, being HERE--ready to face whatever is in store...
He just wanted to be there. I didn't ask him to be there, I didn't even say, "Hey, it would be nice if you would come sit with me and my dad." NOPE--nada--nothing. He just came. Because he is always here for me. He can't see the clutter in the house or the mud he tracks in when he comes in from doing whatever it is he does when he goes tromping off in a field somewhere. He can't remember which holidays require cards. He truly acts like an 18 year old when he sees a funny inappropriate video on his phone (he and my son have some sort of secret code for "this video is hilarious but mom won't like it so let's go act like we have something important to do so we can watch it and not get caught" thing that I totally know about). He often forgets what events are when and where and then likes to pretend like nobody told him about them. But he always shows up. He knows about HERE and NOW. Even when I can't see it, he knows that it matters if he shows up. He can't do anything. He can't fight the cancer in my dad or make the demons in my head go away, but he can be there. And he always is.
I realize I cherish the here and now. My sister is one of the most amazing people. She teaches first grade (I pray for her daily) and she is one of the most here people I know. If you need something, she is there. She can't fix anything, but she fixes everything when she shows up. Sitting there while my dad naps, making faces at me, sending me funny texts and writing out her report cards. She's there. Always. And not just for me. Nope, true here people are truly HERE, in the present. A couple of years ago, when I found out about something that we super hard for both of us, I was scared to tell her. But I told her and you know what she did? She took a breath and said, "Where do you need me? When do we leave?" She lived through it with me. We did it together. She was completely and totally there, with me, through something that neither one of us wanted to have to face. We did it together. She is amazing because she is here.
Each morning while I am teaching, my best friend puts her face in the window of my door. Whatever I am teaching, I tell my students to wait for one second. They all smile as I run to the door to give her a hug. I look forward to that moment every single day. In 2014, I will be here, and I will understand that hugging my friend, in that moment, is the most important thing. It might not fix anything, it might not prevent whatever things might occur during the day, but I can live in that moment, being there with another human being, being HERE--ready to face whatever is in store...
Comments
Post a Comment